ma·nip·u·lateməˈnipyəˌlāt/verbgerund or present participle: manipulating
- 1.handle or control (a tool, mechanism, etc.), typically in a skillful manner.
- control or influence (a person or situation) cleverly, unfairly, or unscrupulously.
Yes. Manipulation is a form of control. When you try to control someone. You have some serious issues that you need to look into yourself for why you feel that need to control another person. I see this a lot in “relationships.” In a relationship, you’re supposed to relate to each other. You will compromise at times, but you do this because you love the other person before yourself. That is a really beautiful thing. A lot of the time though, I see people in relationships that are controlling. Pretty much one person the dominant, controls the weaker person. It’s pretty strange to me. No one should be controlled in a relationship, they should feel a sense of protection and being protected by their mate, but not controlled. Manipulation is control. I do not even like the thought of being controlled. We have our free will for a reason and we should use it.
The word ‘manipulation’ makes me cringe. I understand what this means and hate when people try to do it to me. I want to express why I feel this way about this matter.
For a long time, I used to think that if people didn’t think the way I do, I would find them really strange. But it turns out that everyone has their own opinions and things they believe in and things that work for them. Some people do whatever another person tells them because they aren’t strong enough to stand up for what they believe in, or simply because they have no personality and will do whatever they’re told.
I’m not one of those people in regards to certain matters. I will not do something you tell me to do if I don’t feel it’s right. I will do what you tell me to do in my job, but if I feel it’s wrong I will question it. I will stand up for what’s right because that’s just who I am as a person.
The problem I have is when people try to change a person. If a person wants to change, they will. Maybe a person may need a bit of guidance and inspiration, but that’s totally different than manipulation.
I never really worked well in groups because it’s hard for me to rely on the work of other people, frankly because I do a really good job with my work and I know a lot of people don’t go the extra mile that I go to get shit done.
I work my ass off and I do my best work most of the time, when I have to rely on people that makes me nervous because these people haven’t proven to me that they’re trustworthy in doing their work well, so how can I trust that I can work well with them?
That’s life though. We will have to build trust with people and that’s how we get to know them. Sometimes, it’s hard. Sometimes, it just clicks. Anyway.
Here’s the thing. I don’t like to be manipulated. I like having my ideals and things that I like to do. I don’t like people telling me what to do. I like to do what I like to do. I know that is not very sharing, but it’s who I am. I will do things that I don’t like for the sake of family and friends and if there’s an emergency. That’s just because being courteous is a like-able thing to have in your personality.
But I want to talk about this, too, since I’m on the topic:
Romans 14:1-8 (NIV)
The Weak and the Strong
14 Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters. 2 One person’s faith allows them to eat anything, but another, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. 3 The one who eats everything must not treat with contempt the one who does not, and the one who does not eat everything must not judge the one who does, for God has accepted them. 4 Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To their own master, servants stand or fall. And they will stand, for the Lord is able to make them stand.
5 One person considers one day more sacred than another; another considers every day alike. Each of them should be fully convinced in their own mind. 6 Whoever regards one day as special does so to the Lord. Whoever eats meat does so to the Lord, for they give thanks to God; and whoever abstains does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God. 7 For none of us lives for ourselves alone, and none of us dies for ourselves alone.8 If we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.
Let’s say someone is a vegan. I don’t agree with being a vegan because I feel that I can’t nourish my body with just vegetables and things that don’t come from animals. I feel that meat is delicious and sacred and we should be very appreciative to even be able to enjoy it because it’s so good. It comes from a living animal and then sustains us and becomes a part of us and I think that’s a beautiful dacrifice to make for us so that we can live.
Vegans have an opposing view because they feel that you shouldn’t have to kill animals to eat. I get it. It’s poetic. But to me, it’s not realistic. Animals will eventually die anyway, we might as well eat them and not waste a single product of them. (Waste is what I have a problem with, but that’s a whole another issue).
The point is, just because I don’t agree with Vegans, doesn’t mean I judge them. Everyone has a choice with what they want to eat. That’s fine with me. I don’t really care. I’m not going to go to war with vegans because they have different lifestyles than I do. We can coexist peacefully together.
What I have a problem with is when someone tells me I’m a bad person for eating meat. Those are two totally different things. Being a bad person and eating meat are two different things. I’m not a bad person for eating meat. When a person tries to make you think that because they don’t agree with you, that’s not okay.
Respect everyones ways and live your life the way you do.
But lets say you like someone and that person’s a vegan. That will be hard for you being a relationship with someone that’s a vegan because when you eat dinner, you’re going to have to cook two separate things, which is okay if you can manage that. But it’s not okay if your vegan boyfriend tells you that you should eat like him because it’s healthier.
That’s manipulation. If you love someone, you should accept them for who they are and what they eat. The same thing goes for things that you will share together as a couple. If you can’t accept the differences you have with someone, you shouldn’t try to change them, you should leave them and try to find someone else.
Don’t ever let someone you think you like try to change who you are as a person. Don’t make them make you feel like you have no hope in your endeavors either. Because, you are going to rise above all those petty people and all that bullshit and you are going to have the power to change the world and inspire people to be better people!
Don’t ever let someone try to manipulate you. The skillful sales-marketers will try their best to do so. Some people are so crazy they will try to make you think the color blue is actually white. It’s a strange world we live in and we’re surrounded by a lot of people. Choose who you want to be with very wisely. Because remember something very true, who you’re around, you become. If you want to become a good person, hang around with some good people. If you want to be a model, hang around models. If you want to be an athlete, you need to hang around athletes and play sports. Pretty simple.
Just make sure you’re not around people who will try to control you, because life’s too short and that’s some bullshit.