I’m sure you’ve had a rough day, a rough week, a rough year. Life is tough, there’s no doubt about it. There are subtle moments that can make a day beautiful, then there are moments where people try and rain on your parade. These people, they try and harsh your mellow.
It’s a tough world out there and people will not always be nice. They can say untrue things about you, they lie to you, they make you feel sad or angry. They say one thing and do another. These people, the world revolves around them. They create unnecessary drama. These people that you think are your friends, well, think again. Are they really your friends or are you using the term friend with anyone?
What’s a friend?
A friend is someone who makes you smile. A friend is someone who lifts you up, not down. But a friend should be able to tell you the truth when you need to hear it. A friend is someone that actually cares about your well-being. A friend is there for you no matter the distance apart. A friend is someone who when you think about, you smile because their presence makes you happy to have them in your life.
It’s hard to come by people that are genuine and real. It’s hard to come by people who actually care about you and want to help you out when you’re in a rut. It’s hard to come by people who talk about meaningful things like philosophy or the point of life or what matters most.
I’ve come by a very few people like that. They hold a special place in my heart because they’ve made me feel so powerful inside. They’ve made me feel special and made me feel appreciated. That’s hard to come by. But when it does come, it’s an amazing feeling to know that there are people who want similar things. There are people who just like understand who you are and sometimes you don’t need a lot of time with them to know that. It’s like we’re on the same wavelength.
We’re riding the same wave.
Powerful, isn’t it?
When we really connect with people, it feels so good. I’m not talking about having the same favorite color or the same shoes. I’m talking about when you’re having a conversation with someone and they just understand you or they try and teach you while you’re talking. It’s so hard to explain.
Although, there will be people that truly test your patience and they test your boundaries. With the good people around there are always going to be assholes, too.
Sometimes, I feel this anger inside of me that wants to just blow up and yell and really just tell someone off.
Then, I think…
I think about all the consequences of that one outburst and what it can do to myself. It can hurt others, the anger can negatively effect my body, too. I don’t like hurting people’s feelings. But I do agree that people need to know when they mess up and when they’re out of place. But the most crazy thing is people will push you. There are always going to be people that start drama and try and bring you down and make you feel terrible. They want to win by doing that. It’s pure evil. It’s unfortunate to see people like this. It’s sad. It’s heartbreaking actually. But I’ve noticed that how one reacts to this kind of pressure will show everything about a person.
What I mean is, I can react to negative behavior in a negative way and then end up with negative consequences. So, I don’t want to do that because I don’t want negative consequences, even though it might feel right to act in a negative way.
I can do what’s called the “kill them with kindness” technique. That isn’t easy because you’re taking a negative situation and reacting to it in a positive way. You’re not engaging in any conflict, but you are provoking the situation by reacting to it.
Okay, so here’s the most challenging method that I am currently in the process of learning, and that is:
“Take yourself out of the situation and just let it go.”
I met a man once, a really nice soul, inside and out, and he told me the minute someone disrespects him, he turns the other way. He completely doesn’t even respond to this kind of disrespectful behavior. Now that’s hard. So, that’s a challenge that I am trying to learn.
Then I met another man. A really cool guy and always pretty positive at face value. He said, “You shouldn’t have to explain yourself to anyone.” It’s so true.
When someone disrespect you, disengage. But don’t turn your back. You leave and show them through your eyes that you’re not going to get involved. You slowly get out. You DON’T verbally respond. You ignore with caution. THAT is a challenge because every single cell in your body wants to respond to defend the self. At least, for me, that’s what I want to do. It’s the fight or flight reaction, and I certainly don’t mind putting up a fight, as long as I believe it’s right. BUT…
I am learning that life is hard and you have to pick and choose your battles wisely.
So for example, when you’re dealing with someone who is immature and says things about you that are untrue and tries to constantly bring you down. Ignore em’.
Misery Loves Company.
Get rid of em’. When you notice that someone is causing you more pain than more joy. Say Goodbye, or you don’t have to say anything just let distance get in between!
Life is way too short to be around being who are always creating nonsense.
Have you ever been in a social situation where you felt so uncomfortable by what someone is saying about you directly to your face and literally making you feel pain and heaviness in the pit of your stomach? It’s a disgusting uncomfortable feeling. You have to make sure your guard is up because you never know what that person will end up doing. Scary, right?
Sometimes, people will let you down, that’s life and that’s part of being a human. We all make mistakes, but when people constantly let you down ALL THE TIME then, you know that it’s time to move on and let go.
Departing is not always an easy thing to do, but it is necessary at the opportune moment. You’ll know exactly when that moment is because your body will tell you.
So, learn how to take yourself out of the equation by departing when there is a conflict that you know confrontation just wont work.